Non-Monogamy Guides

Mangomis Definition

Mangomis Definition

In the ever-evolving world of relationships, new terms and concepts continue to emerge as people explore different styles of connecting with one another. One such term you might have come across recently is "mangomis." But what exactly does this mean, and how does it relate to non-monogamy, monogamy, and polyamory? This blog from The Monogamy Experiment will delve into the definition of mangomis, its origins, and its significance in modern relationships. Let's begin the exploration of this intriguing term together.

Mangomis Definition Table of Contents

What is Mangomis?

What is Mangomis?

Mangomis (also referred to as "monogamish") is a term coined by sex columnist and LGBTQ activist Dan Savage. It refers to a relationship structure where a couple is mostly monogamous, but they also allow some room for other sexual experiences or connections outside of their primary partnership. In short, it's a sort of "monogamy-lite" relationship style.

The Origins of Mangomis

The term was first introduced in a 2011 "Savage Love" column. Dan Savage was responding to a reader's question about his open relationship and how to navigate the complexities of balancing love and sexual freedom. While discussing non-monogamy in all its forms, Savage introduced the concept of mangomis, which he described as a way for couples to explore and maintain their sexual desires while still remaining committed to one another.

Why Mangomis?

Mangomis is a relationship structure that can offer a middle ground for couples who wish to explore a bit of flexibility and freedom in their romantic lives, but who are not interested in committing to a fully non-monogamous or polyamorous relationship. This can include occasional adventures with other people (with the consent and knowledge of all parties involved, of course).

Mangomis relationships can be appealing for several reasons:

  • It allows couples to maintain a sense of commitment and stability in their relationship, while still making room for sexual exploration.
  • It acknowledges the fact that attraction to other people is natural and can be experienced even in loving, committed relationships.
  • For some, it can be seen as a more authentic and realistic approach to monogamy, recognizing that long-term monogamy can sometimes be challenging.
  • It can help prevent infidelity, as partners have open communication about their desires and are less likely to seek secret connections outside of their relationship.

Important Considerations for Mangomis Relationships

Like any relationship structure, there are some important considerations to keep in mind when exploring mangomis, such as:

  1. Open communication is key. Both partners should be honest about their desires, boundaries, and any concerns they have regarding their relationship.
  2. Trust is essential. All parties need to trust each other to maintain the primary relationship and navigate external experiences in a healthy and respectful way.
  3. Each relationship is unique. The specifics of what "mangomis" looks like can vary from couple to couple, based on their individual needs and agreements.

Mangomis Definition Example:

Here's an example of how a mangomis relationship might work:

Sarah and John have been in a loving, monogamous relationship for a few years. They're deeply committed to one another but have started to feel curious about the idea of exploring other sexual experiences.

After some open and honest conversations, they decide to try a mangomis arrangement. They agree that they can have occasional, casual connections with other people (such as a one-time fling during a vacation), but with some boundaries in place. For instance, they agree to discuss their plans and experiences with each other beforehand and to prioritize each other's emotional and physical well-being at all times.

Now that you have a better understanding of mangomis and its place in the diverse world of relationships, you might be inclined to have a conversation with your partner about whether this kind of arrangement could work for you. Remember, open communication and trust are crucial for navigating any relationship structure successfully. As always, The Monogamy Experiment is here to provide you with comprehensive insights into both monogamy and non-monogamy, giving you the tools you need to explore your own relationship journey. If you found this article helpful, please share it and check out our other guides!

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About Caitlin Schmidt

Caitlin Schmidt, Ph.D., is a revered figure in relationship psychology and a celebrated sex therapist with over 15 years of deep-rooted experience. Renowned for her compassionate approach and penetrating insights, Caitlin has dedicated her career to enriching people's understanding of love, intimacy, and the myriad relationship forms that exist in our complex world. Having worked with diverse individuals and couples across the spectrum of monogamy, non-monogamy, and polyamory, she brings a wealth of real-life wisdom and academic knowledge to her writing. Her compelling blend of empathy, sharp intellect, and unwavering professionalism sets her apart in the field. Caitlin's mission, both as a practitioner and as a contributor to The Monogamy Experiment, is to educate, inspire, and provoke thoughtful discussion. She believes in fostering a safe, judgment-free space for people to explore their relationship dynamics, ensuring her readers feel seen, heard, and understood. With every article, Caitlin continues her commitment to shine a light on the realities, challenges, and beauty of human connection. Her expertise makes her an indispensable guide as you navigate your journey through the landscape of love and relationships.

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