Non-Monogamy Guides

What Are The Different Types Of Polyamory?

What Are The Different Types Of Polyamory?

In recent years, the conversation surrounding alternative relationship structures has grown exponentially. One such type of relationship gaining increasing recognition is polyamory. Polyamory – meaning "many loves" – is the practice of engaging in multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. While polyamory is often misunderstood and marginalized, for those who embrace it, it offers infinite opportunities for love, connection, and self-growth. In this guide, we will delve into the various types of polyamory, providing you with a comprehensive understanding of this fascinating relationship dynamic. So, buckle up: we're about to embark on a journey through the multifaceted world of polyamory!

There are several types of polyamorous relationships, each with its unique structure and set of expectations. Below, we outline some of the most common forms:

Hierarchical Polyamory

In hierarchical polyamory, there is a primary relationship, which takes precedence over all others. This relationship is often characterized by a higher level of commitment, emotional intimacy, or entanglement – think marriage, cohabitation, or raising children together. Secondary relationships are considered less central but still significant. For some, tertiary relationships also exist, which tend to be more casual or short-term in nature.

Non-hierarchical Polyamory

In this structure, all relationships are viewed as equal, with no one partnership taking priority over another. Equal time, energy, and resources are dedicated to all partners, as much as possible. Non-hierarchical polyamory challenges the conventional belief that romantic love must be finite and instead encourages people to explore limitless connections.

Solo Polyamory

Solo polyamorists prioritize their autonomy and individualism, often choosing not to engage in traditional relationship markers such as cohabitation, marriage, or shared finances. While solo poly individuals may have multiple partners, their primary focus is on their personal growth and self-discovery.

Kitchen Table Polyamory

This term originates from the idea that all partners can comfortably sit around the same "kitchen table." In kitchen table polyamory, close relationships between metamours – the term for a partner's other partner(s) – are encouraged and valued. This creates a tight-knit support system, with everyone involved invested in each other's well-being.

Parallel Polyamory

Unlike kitchen table polyamory, parallel polyamory involves maintaining separate relationships that run parallel to one another. Here, partners may be aware of each other's existence but do not necessarily have a personal relationship. Boundaries are maintained, and there is generally limited interaction between metamours.

Relationship Anarchy

A radical form of non-hierarchical polyamory, relationship anarchy challenges all norms associated with relationships. It rejects traditional distinctions between romantic, sexual, and platonic relationships. Advocates of relationship anarchy emphasize autonomy and personal choice, allowing each connection to develop organically without predetermined rules or expectations.

Different Types Of Polyamory Example

Consider a person, Alex, who identifies as a solo polyamorist. They are not interested in marriage or cohabitation, so they maintain separate homes from their partners. Alex has two significant others, Jamie and Taylor, and the three of them operate under the principles of non-hierarchical polyamory. Alex also has a more casual, but emotionally intimate, connection with a person they met at a polyamory support group, Riley. Both Jamie and Taylor enjoy spending time with Riley, and the four often gather for dinners or outings. In this example, Alex is practicing solo polyamory, while the overall relationship structure is non-hierarchical and closely resembles kitchen table polyamory.

Polyamory challenges the traditional script we've been given for relationships, offering new possibilities for love and connection. As we've explored, the types of polyamory are varied and rich, showing that there is no right or wrong way to create fulfilling and nurturing relationships. Now that you've been acquainted with the diverse world of polyamory, perhaps you're inspired to explore different types of connections in your own life. Happy journeying, and don't forget to share this guide with others interested in the world of multiple love! Also, feel free to dive into other guides here at The Monogamy Experiment to further expand your horizons.

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About Caitlin Schmidt

Caitlin Schmidt, Ph.D., is a revered figure in relationship psychology and a celebrated sex therapist with over 15 years of deep-rooted experience. Renowned for her compassionate approach and penetrating insights, Caitlin has dedicated her career to enriching people's understanding of love, intimacy, and the myriad relationship forms that exist in our complex world. Having worked with diverse individuals and couples across the spectrum of monogamy, non-monogamy, and polyamory, she brings a wealth of real-life wisdom and academic knowledge to her writing. Her compelling blend of empathy, sharp intellect, and unwavering professionalism sets her apart in the field. Caitlin's mission, both as a practitioner and as a contributor to The Monogamy Experiment, is to educate, inspire, and provoke thoughtful discussion. She believes in fostering a safe, judgment-free space for people to explore their relationship dynamics, ensuring her readers feel seen, heard, and understood. With every article, Caitlin continues her commitment to shine a light on the realities, challenges, and beauty of human connection. Her expertise makes her an indispensable guide as you navigate your journey through the landscape of love and relationships.

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